Sunday, April 12, 2015
#1 - Don't say "I remember when...". No one wants to hear long-winded stories about anything. Besides, no one fucking cares. If you really must tell some anecdote aloud, wait until you get home and tell your dog, who probably doesn't fucking care either.
#2 - Don't call out differences in technology. News flash: as technology advances, things get smaller and go faster. Enough said. No one fucking cares that you had to fit everything into 128kb. Not even your dog.
#3 - Don't discuss your age. Right? Duh! Declaring that you graduated high school the same year your co-worker was born is just fucking stupid. So, don't be stupid.
#4 - Don't talk about music. You liked the Beatles, you think Janis Joplin was awesome and maybe you even went to Woodstock. Shut up! Keep it to yourself. If you get cornered, lie. Tell them your parents went to Woodstock.
#5 - Don't talk about your grandchildren. This is really important, people. Yeah, they're probably really cute but frankly, no one wants to see pictures of your fucking grandchildren, OK?
#6 - Don't talk about anything but work. You probably don't have any body piercings and you haven't dyed hair hair blue so shut the fuck up. The ONLY thing you have in common is work.